Yes I’m back!! And happy Canada Day to all those Canadian readers out there. I’m blessed to be able to call Canada home and enjoy a day off in the middle of the week to celebrate my country’s birthday! It also gives me some time to write, since life has otherwise gotten away from me for a while. Back to the keyboard to work on my craft and today, to share the adventures of The Drunk, The Dwarf, and The I-Tie.
There was a week, many moons ago now, when I met three very different men, and all have provided my girlfriends with much to talk about over the years. Here I will introduce you to each of them as remember my dating escapades with much laughter!
The Drunk 
As you can probably guess, this man was rather inebriated when I arrived at our meeting place. You have to wonder what’s going on when someone chooses to put his best foot forward… drunk…
We’d chosen a restaurant local to my hometown, since Alan didn’t live far away and was willing to make the short drive into town. It was a newly opened place, with positive reviews, and I was looking forward to dinner!
When I arrived, he was at the bar, sucking back a beer, his eyes already a little glazed. It wasn’t a good sign for dinner, given his butt seemed to be rooted to the barstool on which he’d chosen to wait for me. (no, I wasn’t late… not at all like me but still true ;)) The only time he left that stool was when the beer worked its way through him and he had to pee. Yes I was THRILLED he shared these details with me.
We chatted for a few minutes and the discussion of my energy work came up. He wanted me to “read him” but I refused. He pushed again for a reading, and again I refused.
Thirty minutes into this date, as he ordered “hic… a’nother roun'” (his 5th since I’d arrived) I decided I’d had enough and would make my excuses. Dinner clearly wasn’t happening and I resigned myself to making it back to try the food at another time. Girlfriends were always good company when trying a new place!!
Alan was adamant, in his slurred speech, that we should go somewhere for a drink before I left. I pointed out that he seemed to have had enough and politely, yet firmly, declined.
“Perhaps you should get a coffee before grabbing a cab home,” were my last words to him.
I felt a little guilty about not making sure he made it home but figured it wasn’t really my responsibility. Today I would probably call him a cab (and no I don’t mean “hey! You’re a cab!!)
I do know he made it home safely because he emailed me the next day to tell me how much fun he’d had and asked if we could do it again. I’m not sure how he remembered anything, or maybe he thought it was a fantastic time BECAUSE he couldn’t remember anything….? Naturally I refused, again politely, and wished him luck in his search for true love.
As I hit send I spoke my then anthem… “Next!”
The Dwarf 
Ok so I know it’s not politically correct and I apologize to anyone who’s offended by the name, but this is my life and this is what Gerry was named.
The name came about when I was telling my girlfriend about a man who wanted to meet me. You see, it had been my experience that men lie about their height. (Guys, you know you do!) They would say they are 6′ tall or 6’2″ and when they showed up, they would be 4, 5 or even 6 inches shorter than they had indicated. I am 5’7″ myself and am therefore rather aware of the height of those around me and I’m not sure what they were thinking…? Seriously, guys, I’m going to notice!
In any case, Gerry said he was 5’7″ so I naturally took off several inches from this number and voila… his nickname was born! As it turns out, he was one of two men who were honest with me about their height, but the nickname stuck anyway.
Gerry was a nurse in a mental hospital. Yes, I did inquire as to whether he actually worked there, or if he was a resident. He assured me he was an employee and could come and go as he pleased. Phew… **wipe sweat from brow**
Gerry looked like he may have some possibilities until he discussed his occasional use of cocaine. Just sporadically… to relax and chill from his hectic job. I’m not an expert on drugs or anything but I seriously thought it energized you, at least short term. I could be wrong. I didn’t really care enough to google it. It didn’t matter to me enough to put forth the effort, given I wouldn’t be seeing him again.
He texted a few times after our first meeting but yes, you guess it… I wished him well and sent him on his merry way. While I do give him kudos for being open and honest about all aspects of his life (well, as far as I can tell) his lifestyle was not one I chose for myself.
“Next!”
The I-Tie 
As it turns out, this nickname came from my dad. We were having a family breakfast one Saturday morning when my daughter broke the news that I had met an Italian man on one of my dates. My dad immediately said, “Sam is seeing an I-Tie!”.
Marco claimed to be Sicilian. I believe him. He was a very good looking man with charisma coming out the wazoo (is wazoo Italian?) He was bald (shaved head) but it just brought out his eyes, and oh… he smelled sooo good!!! He was a lot of fun, and while I knew it was a relationship headed for disaster, and knew I wouldn’t allow myself to become involved, I thought “what could it hurt to have a few dates? It’ll be fun!”.
To his credit he was honest about being a player and I can respect that, even if I chose not to allow myself to open my heart.
We dated for about 6 months… after all, a girl’s gotta eat… but when I started to find myself wanting more from him, I ended it. We were two ships on two very different paths, and I didn’t want mine to crash off the coast of Italy. 🙂
It had always been my dream to see Italy, and as luck would have it, while I was saying good-bye to my I-Tie, t
he universe was directing me towards my Guapo (Spanish for Handsome) who would one day take me to Italy and fulfill my dream. I just didn’t know it yet. (and THAT is a future story :))
Ladies, if you’re looking for love… don’t settle… don’t compromise on your dream… be patient and true to yourself because you deserve to have it all!! Be ever hopeful and you will find your knight in shining armor. Your very own Guapo!
Samantha Quinn 