Author: Samantha Quinn

A prelude is the beginning of a song… The part that serves as an introduction. It is also-or used to be- a car. So this serves as the beginning, or introduction to our road trip to Vermont, and Boston… and anywhere else along the way that grabs our interest. Guapo and I have never been anywhere in Vermont, nor Boston for that matter -or anywhere else in Massachusetts, and while we have been to the east cost of the US, it’s always been further south. For this prelude, we are not taking the no longer made Honda, we are taking Guapo’s BMW. Just don’t want any confusion out there. 😉

Life at home has been busy and when life gets too busy, I think it’s time for a road trip. I told my mom that we were heading to Vermont and she said “Oh that sounds lovely. I don’t know what there is to do there, but it just sounds lovely.”  (my mom is so sweet. I love her)

And I had to agree. It does sound lovely. I figure it sounds so lovely because the movie White Christmas took place there, even though it was not filmed there. (I looked, just in case that was someplace we had to see) That movie is a huge fav in our family. So just the state of Vermont, can stir feelings of warmth and coziness. So off we go, heading for Vermont. The dog (Princess Phoebe) is taken care of by Guapo’s nephew Tyler, and while she was upset Mama was leaving, we know she’s in good hands.

There is always an adventure when you set off on a road trip and I thought I had things all worked out for data in a different country (from Canada y’all). You see on a previous trip, I had gotten a US sim card and a US number that I was told I could just add money to any time I was in the US. It is cheaper that way when we are using my phone as GPS. Good thinking, right? But, I called AT&T to add data to my phone and was told that because I hadn’t used it in more than 6 months, they gave my number away. Wait, what?

Ok no problem. We can think on our feet. I called my own provider and was able to add a US package. Clearly I’m a pantser.. I fly by the seat of my pants, and maybe life would be calmer if I didn’t continually do this, but hey, life is certainly interesting.

A quick stop at the duty free shop, where I was more excited about finding a Diet Coke that said “best day ever!” than I was anything else. Guapo on the other hand, decided he wanted to buy some Vermouth.

“You want what?” I asked. “Why?”

“Because we don’t have any. Some drinks call for it, and we don’t have any.”

What drinks? Really? I don’t even drink pop/soda and he likes beer, but hey, this is an adventure and we are experiencing new things, so get the Vermouth to sit in our liquor cabinet. It’s all good.

There are so many deer along the highway. Lots of deer crossing signs and in the US they actually tell you for how long. Deer crossing next 3.5 miles. Really? American deer are so much smarter than the Canadian variety. Ours don’t pay any attention to the signs and where to cross. I snorted. Sure.

“Keep an eye out but I really doubt that the deer pay that close of attention to where they are supposed to cross.”

Guapo just smiled.

“Oh! Deer!” I shouted.

“Yes?” Guapo responded.

“Not you, silly. I don’t call you dear. I call you Guapo or Hon… maybe Babe,” I clarified.

“Thanks,” he smirked.

I pointed to the deer along the highway and then the unthinkable happened.  One jumped out and ran across the highway. I grabbed Guapo’s arm, which seriously… not a smart move when he’s driving. and yelled “Don’t hit it!”

It was a young female, so beautiful but a little scared about being on the highway with cars zooming by.  It started to cross the highway, then changed its mind when it got to the median and there was more traffic on the other side, so turning around it headed back towards us. I wish I’d had my camera out so you all could see the deer, eyes wide, racing alongside our car. Turns out though, that 240+ horsepower can outshine 1 deerpower. The Beemer pulled away and took first place! The sweet baby did make it back safety on the side of the road. Crisis averted.

I watched for more then noticed it had actually crossed in a deer crossing zone.  Figures. American deer are pretty smart!

I like traveling along the New York Thruway. It’s quick, and I’ve never had bad traffic on that road. Cue darkness.

The speed limit is 65 mph, and while traffic wasn’t thick on a Wednesday evening, we did find ourselves in a spot with slightly more congestion. Nothing to worry about as Guapo pulled out to pass a slower moving vehicle. It was dark and there was only the light from the headlights of oncoming cars on the other side of the road, and the red tail lights of cars ahead of us. We were in the left lane, attempting to pass when all of a sudden the car up ahead swerved and made a quick duck in to the right lane where it continued on its way. Idiot!

“Holy Jesus, Mary and Joseph!” There’s that Christmas reference again.

Guapo swerved, tires squealing. I grabbed his arm again-really what’s up with that- as he floored that car for all it was worth to be able to get into the right lane ahead of the slow dude. We heard more tires screaming as they hit their brakes to let the rude Canadians ahead of them and with a deep breath, and pulses still racing, we avoided a crash.

There was a very large bag of some kind sitting right in the middle of our lane. I have no idea what was in it, but it scared the bejeezus out of me. That was an accident waiting to happen!

Guapo suggested we call the police to let them know it needed to be removed from the road, so I called 911. That’s what we do in Canada and we didn’t have the number of the local state troopers.

“911. What is your emergency.”

“We’re driving on 90E and there’s a huge bag in the left lane around mile marker 313.”

“Is there an accident?”

“Not yet, but if someone doesn’t get that off the road there will be.”

They told me three times to stay on the line while they transferred me to the thruway police where the above conversation was repeated.

“What did you say the debris was?” they asked.

“I’m not 100% sure but it looks like a huge bag of some kind. It’s not debris, it’s the size of a car!”

They confirmed my name and phone number and assured me they would send someone out to take a look. Seriously, it needs more than a look, but I’m sure they took care of it.

Guapo had planned our first night’s stay since we were leaving after work and only wanted to drive for a few hours. He researched what would be best he found a place that would be perfect!

He had pulled it up on his iPad and showed me the rooms. There’s a casino, not that we gamble and it’s got great reviews. Oh.. and look… there’s a golf course there too. It’s one of the top 100 of all the public courses in the US. He has a goal to golf at all 100. He’s so blessed to have such a loving wife. 😉 I agreed we could make the stop for the night there.

The Turning Stone, houses a casino and has awards of 4 diamonds for their resort. Everyone is very pleasant and I felt a little more road weary as we walked into the lobby, trying to brush my bangs out of my eyes and give my hair a comb-through with my fingers. Hey.. we’ve been driving for over 4 hours but I felt a little like Joan Wilder in Romancing the Stone, when she first walked into that town after falling over a waterfall, and having to walk through the jungle to get to a phone.

The place is huge and I should have had my Fitbit on for the walk to our room -which is gorgeous by the way. The bellman placed our luggage where it was easily retrieved, we tipped him and he was on his way.

Guapo has a tee-time already book. *shocked face*

Cue lullaby.  Time to get some rest. To sleep, perchance to dream.

It’s been a while since I have written my thoughts. A lot has changed since my last post. Those of you who enjoy my writing (as Lexie McGuire) don’t panic, I have not given up on my writing, but there have been items that have interfered with life… and therefore, my creativity.

It’s funny how things can take over if we let them, but it’s also good to take some time for proper healing. New jobs… completion of a lawsuit (thank God!) are things that can take their toll. For the record, even when those you are suing, choose to settle out of court, it can still be very exhausting (and OH so time consuming!!) I can’t recommend a lawsuit as a mode of entertainment for sure, but we do what me must for justice.

Even those things that are great and oh so exciting (starting new business adventures! Can I hear a woot woot!?!) can take your energy and creative desires if you let them.

Travel is soothing to the soul, if you do it according to your needs. Some like it busy (like my Guapo) and others like it quiet (pick me! pick me!) For sure I am one of those girls who wants her biggest decision to be “will I read by the pool, or will I read by the beach?” (Note the constant of reading… weird, right?) So we have done some travel as well to shed the past and walk towards the future, finding a mix so we can both enjoy our downtime.

I won’t make excuses for my solitude, nor will I belabor the points here for all the world to see, but suffice it to say, I’m back. And I have to tell you, it feels good!

I’m back to editing Never Say Die, and am working on completing While Dreams Come True as well as Web of Death. All titles, of course, are subject to change without notice 😉 but I’m finding the creative juices flowing again and that’s always a good thing. These novels will be available under the name Samantha Quinn, and of course, Forgiven Secrets is still available in print and for Kindle under the name of Lexie McGuire.

So as spring unfolds here in my little corner of the world, I too, feel like I’m waking up from a long hibernation.   As always, I hope that life is good to you and you continue to always look for the funny! If you can’t do that on your own, stay tuned I’m here to help!!

To quote James Brown… “I feel good!” (you can picture me singing and dancing now)

 

 

Yes I’m back!! And happy Canada Day to all those Canadian readers out there.  I’m blessed to be able to call Canada home and enjoy a day off in the middle of the week to celebrate my country’s birthday! It also gives me some time to write, since life has otherwise gotten away from me for a while. Back to the keyboard to work on my craft and today, to share the adventures of The Drunk, The Dwarf, and The I-Tie.

There was a week, many moons ago now, when I met three very different men, and all have provided my girlfriends with much to talk about over the years. Here I will introduce you to each of them as remember my dating escapades with much laughter!

The Drunk 

As you can probably guess, this man was rather inebriated when I arrived at our meeting place. You have to wonder what’s going on when someone chooses to put his best foot forward… drunk…

We’d chosen a restaurant local to my hometown, since Alan didn’t live far away and was willing to make the short drive into town. It was a newly opened place, with positive reviews, and I was looking forward to dinner!

When I arrived, he was at the bar, sucking back a beer, his eyes already a little glazed. It wasn’t a good sign for dinner, given his butt seemed to be rooted to the barstool on which he’d chosen to wait for me. (no, I wasn’t late… not at all like me but still true ;)) The only time he left that stool was when the beer worked its way through him and he had to pee. Yes I was THRILLED he shared these details with me.

We chatted for a few minutes and the discussion of my energy work came up. He wanted me to “read him” but I refused. He pushed again for a reading, and again I refused.

Thirty minutes into this date, as he ordered “hic… a’nother roun'” (his 5th since I’d arrived) I decided I’d had enough and would make my excuses. Dinner clearly wasn’t happening and I resigned myself to making it back to try the food at another time. Girlfriends were always good company when trying a new place!!

Alan was adamant, in his slurred speech, that we should go somewhere for a drink before I left. I pointed out that he seemed to have had enough and politely, yet firmly, declined.

“Perhaps you should get a coffee before grabbing a cab home,” were my last words to him.

I felt a little guilty about not making sure he made it home but figured it wasn’t really my responsibility. Today I would probably call him a cab (and no I don’t mean “hey! You’re a cab!!)

I do know he made it home safely because he emailed me the next day to tell me how much fun he’d had and asked if we could do it again. I’m not sure how he remembered anything, or maybe he thought it was a fantastic time BECAUSE he couldn’t remember anything….? Naturally I refused, again politely, and wished him luck in his search for true love.

As I hit send I spoke my then anthem… “Next!”

The Dwarf 

Ok so I know it’s not politically correct and I apologize to anyone who’s offended by the name, but this is my life and this is what Gerry was named.

The name came about when I was telling my girlfriend about a man who wanted to meet me. You see, it had been my experience that men lie about their height. (Guys, you know you do!) They would say they are 6′ tall or 6’2″ and when they showed up, they would be 4, 5 or even 6 inches shorter than they had indicated. I am 5’7″ myself and am therefore rather aware of the height of those around me and I’m not sure what they were thinking…?  Seriously, guys, I’m going to notice!

In any case, Gerry said he was 5’7″ so I naturally took off several inches from this number and voila… his nickname was born! As it turns out, he was one of two men who were honest with me about their height, but the nickname stuck anyway.

Gerry was a nurse in a mental hospital. Yes, I did inquire as to whether he actually worked there, or if he was a resident. He assured me he was an employee and could come and go as he pleased. Phew… **wipe sweat from brow**

Gerry looked like he may have some possibilities until he discussed his occasional use of cocaine. Just sporadically… to relax and chill from his hectic job. I’m not an expert on drugs or anything but I seriously thought it energized you, at least short term. I could be wrong. I didn’t really care enough to google it. It didn’t matter to me enough to put forth the effort, given I wouldn’t be seeing him again.

He texted a few times after our first meeting but yes, you guess it…  I wished him well and sent him on his merry way. While I do give him kudos for being open and honest about all aspects of his life (well, as far as I can tell) his lifestyle was not one I chose for myself.

“Next!”

The I-Tie     

As it turns out, this nickname came from my dad. We were having a family breakfast one Saturday morning when my daughter broke the news that I had met an Italian man on one of my dates. My dad immediately said, “Sam is seeing an I-Tie!”.

Marco claimed to be Sicilian. I believe him. He was a very good looking man with charisma coming out the wazoo (is wazoo Italian?) He was bald (shaved head) but it just brought out his eyes, and oh… he smelled sooo good!!! He was a lot of fun, and while I knew it was a relationship headed for disaster, and knew I wouldn’t allow myself to become involved, I thought “what could it hurt to have a few dates? It’ll be fun!”.

To his credit he was honest about being a player and I can respect that, even if I chose not to allow myself to open my heart.

We dated for about 6 months… after all, a girl’s gotta eat… but when I started to find myself wanting more from him, I ended it. We were two ships on two very different paths, and I didn’t want mine to crash off the coast of Italy. 🙂

It had always been my dream to see Italy, and as luck would have it, while I was saying good-bye to my I-Tie, the universe was directing me towards my Guapo (Spanish for Handsome) who would one day take me to Italy and fulfill my dream. I just didn’t know it yet. (and THAT is a future story :))

Ladies, if you’re looking for love… don’t settle… don’t compromise on your dream… be patient and true to yourself because you deserve to have it all!! Be ever hopeful and you will find your knight in shining armor. Your very own Guapo!

Valentine’s Day has come and gone for 2015 and I was blessed to spend it with my Happily Ever After, but that wasn’t always the case.

Twice while on my way to my Happily Ever After, I accepted a first date for Valentine’s Day. Honestly, the romance writer in me thought “Wouldn’t it make a sweet story to be able to say we had our first date on Valentine’s Day?” Yeah, I know… It’s hokey, but I’m sometimes a hokey kind of girl.

I digress… twice I accepted first dates on Valentine’s Day (not the same Valentine’s Day of course) and TWICE, I had dates that I simply could NOT wait to end. In fact, I did end them early.

Enter Sponge Bob Square Pants… He was my first Valentine’s Day disaster. Why did I call him that? Because he felt the need to send me his measurements and I determined from those that he was rather square shaped. Not that tall but, according to him, a large chest.

He seemed normal on the phone when we chatted but as I’ve said earlier, you just never know someone until you actually meet them.

What went wrong you ask?

He talked about his ex-wife and how he was going to make her life miserable because he said she cheated on him. She may have… I don’t know here and won’t make a judgement but ok… Say it’s true. He’s so bitter and angry even still, that he would not make a good partner for me so “X” -strike one! Bitter and angry people are not for me. I want a life of love and happiness.

He decided that he would be spending the night, even though I told him he would not be. He even brought an overnight bag and made sure I knew this because he expected us to leave together. “X” strike two! Someone who doesn’t respect my values and decisions, is not for me. He needs to listen to (and hear) me when I tell him what I want and don’t want.

He talked about how he sang to his ex-wife on their first date and she loved it. Everyone in the restaurant loved it. He was going to sing to me because that would be so romantic and I would love it too.

Um… no… I don’t think I would like that at all.

“You can’t do anything about it if I do.”

“Of course I can. I’m an independent woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to get up and walk out of the restaurant leaving you here to sing to the other patrons.”

I wasn’t always so strong that I would stand up for myself and my opinion. My mom may disagree but in relationships, this wasn’t who I was in the beginning. It was learned and if I didn’t want something, I would say so… so “X” strike three. You’re out!

Sponge Bob got angry with me and stomped off to speak with the owner of the restaurant (whom I knew very well!!) to explain that he no longer needed a ghetto blaster brought to our table.

He moped until the end of our meal and we said our good-byes. He tried to follow me home, but even though I’m cute, I’m not stupid and I took a circuitous route until I lost him and arrived home safely, and in one piece.  🙂

Fast forward a couple of years to a time I had forgotten about my experience of a Valentine’s Day first date and I am invited out by a man of Eastern European decent.

Meet Czech… Check!! (As in bring me the bill please!) 😉

This man was tall and blonde and had an ever so slight accent. He told me his story of how he left his long-time girlfriend behind while he tried to escape from Czechoslovakia when he was 18 years old. She followed him and because of timing, he had to bring her. It was an arduous and very dangerous journey, but he wanted freedom. We know of course that Czechoslovakia was not a country of freedom and he wanted a better life for himself than he was able to have there, so he left his family and friends, and his girlfriend behind, while he escaped to a better life.

He admitted that he would have preferred she didn’t come and felt he ‘needed to marry her’ once they found freedom and while I understand that we all make mistakes, and do things we know we shouldn’t, I asked him if he felt he had been fair to her in not telling her the truth. He admitted to telling her the truth several years into their marriage and then ‘she just up and left.’

I can understand that.

So Czech was looking at me like I was his entre. We had met for lunch because I actually wanted a quiet evening at home alone and wanted time to visit my cousin before settling in for a night of sappy chick flicks. (Yes I am that girl!)

He kept reaching for my hands and trying to hold them. I kept putting them in my lap. Once I said “hey, I need that to eat” to which he offered to feed me.

I’m not one who can fake being comfortable with someone, when I’m not, yet I also don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings so I tried to be polite. It didn’t work.

Finally when lunch was over, he gave me a CD of romantic music. I said, of course, that he didn’t need to do that.

“It’s Valentine’s Day! We need some romance. Let’s go back to your place and listen to it.”

I explained that I was meeting my cousin, given she was single at the time as well. He didn’t believe me and accused me of having plans with someone else.

“Yes, that’s true,” I said in a voice much calmer than I felt. “I do… with my cousin.”

I asked for the check and when it came, he ripped it out of my hand, telling me that he was a man and would pay for lunch.

I thanked him, put on my coat and left, peeling rubber in the parking lot while I extricated myself from the entire situation, swearing I would NEVER again have a first date on Valentine’s Day.  Lesson learned!!

I could find the funny in these experiences (perhaps not as readily as I can now), and believed that one day love would find me. If you’re still looking for your happily ever after, be patient and don’t try to make everything perfect. It’s our idiosyncrasies that make us interesting.

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s Day. We, in our society, put too much pressure on ourselves and our relationships, expecting things to be perfect. Life and love aren’t about perfection, but about being there for each other and accepting the flaws in those we love and realizing that the blessings are more important.

“I really did save his life.”

That’s what I tell people. It’s all in the perspective.

Meet “John”, a man I met many years ago. He was in the insurance industry. Some might say he was safe… he certainly was a great dresser with well-tailored suits, thick dark hair and well defined features that many would find attractive.

I believe you can usually tell within a few minutes of meeting someone, whether you’re interested in anything more than the coffee you’ve met for. I say usually though, because there are times, obviously, when things present themselves through conversation. Thus, the importance of getting to know someone before you run off to Vegas to get married, or something equally ‘spontaneous’.

We met at Starbucks for coffee. He was tall, and attractive. He could converse intelligently, (a good sign) was a little shy, but who was I to complain about that? I’m shy myself, until you get to know me. Then watch out! 😉 He smelled good too! Men should learn about the power of a great cologne! Well worth the money as far as I’m concerned.

We chatted and conversation went smoothly. He asked if I was free for dinner Friday night (just two days after our first meeting) and I was excited about getting to know him better. There didn’t seem to be anything offensive about him, though it did cross my mind that he was perhaps a little too… middle of the road.  I was willing to get to know him better though and that was a start.

He took me to the a Greek restaurant (I love Greek food!) and when he was ordering his food, he asked about peanut oil and explained to the waitress about a food allergy he had.

I was instantly alerted. Having had a friend who was deathly allergic to bees and seeing him react once to a bee sting -and being ever so aware of the ‘peanut free’ zones at my children’s school due to anaphylactic reactions, I was very aware of the seriousness of what this could present.

When he had completed his order, I asked, “How bad is your allergy? What would happen if you came in contact with peanuts?”

“I would probably stop breathing.” he said

Wow… that’s serious!

“Do you have to ingest the peanuts or would you react if someone touched peanuts and then touched you?”

“I would still probably stop breathing,” he explained, “but may have an extra minute to get to my epi-pen.”

“I see… so it’s a very severe allergy.”

He confirmed and I felt my hope deflate much like a balloon when you let the air out. It wouldn’t work.

Some might think me superficial, or callous even, but the reality is, I love peanut butter. Peanut butter cookies, peanut butter and chocolate ice cream, Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups! Even peanut butter on toast. It is a staple for me and one I was not willing to give up for a stranger.

So when he asked me if he could see me again, my response was quick, but gentle… I declined his offer.

“You’re a very nice man John, but I just don’t see us working out. I don’t feel that connection. It isn’t anything you did or didn’t do. I just don’t think we’re a good fit.”

We often say “It isn’t you, it’s me.” when we turn someone down or break up with them when what we really are thinking is “It isn’t me, it’s you!” I thought about being honest with him but I’m not one to cause unnecessary pain to someone else. I don’t want to rack up that kind of bad karma!!

I felt I couldn’t tell him the truth. I didn’t think he’d see the humour in it.

“I’m saving your life! I really am! I can see it all clearly. I know one day I would have a peanut butter cookie. Then I would come home from work, give you a kiss saying ‘Honey, I’m home’ and bang, you’d be dead.”

I wasn’t willing to give up my peanut butter for love in this instance. Would I ever? Of course! If I had to, I would in a heartbeat! For my kids, a sibling, a best friend or my husband!! In the end, though, I would have to love them first, as well as love them more than I do my peanut butter!

Y’all can have all the money in the world, be a snappy dresser and even wear great cologne but these clearly aren’t the be-all, end-all for me.

There’s a very important lesson I learned from this man -and going forward, when those initial likes and dislike questions were being asked at the very beginning of the dance called dating, one of my questions was always, without fail, “How do you feel about Peanut Butter?”

Early on in my online dating, I started chatting with a man who I refer to as “Strong Like Bull”.

I worked at a bank at the time and was sharing my adventures with online dating with a co-worker. She asked what this latest man looked like, assuming he had shared a picture online, and I said “I don’t know but he says he’s at the gym didn’t seem so based on the conversations we had through the dating site.

I set up my safety call and we made arrangements to meet. He was an attractive man. Broad shoulders and as you would imagine, somewhat fit but he had a nervousness underlying his appearance of confidence and ‘swagger’. I could picture him walking around the gym between reps, chatting occasionally with someone he knew, but his arms could touch his sides so while he was well built, he wasn’t into extreme body building. It was important to him that I knew he was dedicated to his craft of building muscle, and he would not miss a work-out session for any reason.

I’m usually pretty intuitive and do energy work on the side. I could see that he was closed off energetically in protection mode and this usually means someone doesn’t have a high self-esteem, or they have been hurt in the past. I could tell he had difficulty making connections with people because he was a little stiff in social settings and didn’t seem to be able to open himself to possibilities. He was tight… I’m not really sure how else to explain it. Tight and controlled.

We talked about what we were looking for and our priorities in life. He was looking for his “wow” and then when on to tell me he was a people person. I nearly choked on my hot chocolate. I swear it nearly shot out my nose! Nice first impression to be sure!

He wanted to know what was so funny and I told him he really didn’t seem like a people person to me. I consider myself to be a people person. I put people at ease and they seem to open up to me about all kinds of things (some I wish they wouldn’t share), but I make friends easily and people place a trust in me.

I told him that he seemed closed off and protected and kept people at arm’s length and probably didn’t like to spend a lot of time with other people. He seemed like someone who enjoyed his alone time. He agreed but insisted he was still a people person. Ok. Sometimes people don’t really know themselves and I can accept people where they’re at. 

He told me that he was the kind of person who could hurt me emotionally because I would fall in love with him and he felt that if he settled for me, he might be missing out on something better.

My response was a resounding “Pfft!” and I laughed, grateful I didn’t have another mouthful of hot chocolate!

Again he asked what was so funny and I said “I’d have to let you in first and that’s not happening.”

Oddly we became friends and eventually started dating. We dated off and on for about 4 years when I decided I wanted off the hamster wheel that was going nowhere. Each time I ended things he came back saying I was his “wow”, but every time I let him come back, he couldn’t be open enough for me. Oh the stories I could tell you about Strong Like Bull.

Physically, he may have been strong, but emotionally, he couldn’t give me what I needed. Was he dumb like post? Sometimes I thought so, given his actions, but he is who he is. I’m sure he thought the same about me. I know my friends sure thought I was for putting up with his shenanigans. I do wish him happiness though and hope he finds the real “wow” he’s looking for. 

Sometimes people don’t know what they want because they don’t see themselves clearly. It really isn’t personal if it doesn’t work out. It just means he’s not your happily ever after! Check another one off the list and move forward.

Be happy you know now, and keep on keeping on, ever true to your path!

When I was dating, (online or otherwise) I always gave the men I met a nick name. Depending on how the date went, the name may not have always been flattering. What can I say… there were times it helped me remember them better, and certainly helped me remember what impressed (or not) me most about them. Last week you met Mr. Relationship. Now, I would like to introduce you to Man of Mystery.

In all honesty, I can’t even remember what his real name was. I know… not very kind of me, but I DO remember that he was trying hard to be that mysterious sort that I suppose he felt was what every woman was looking for. Unfortunately, he came across as being rather slothful in his attempts to converse and get to know me. Sure… Sloths can be cute to some, but they’re slow and unwilling or unable to get a great deal done and honestly, when you’re looking for a potential partner, is a sloth really what you want? Why didn’t I call him Sloth? No worries, you’ll meet him later on.

During a first meeting of someone you are looking to potentially date, the purpose of that meeting is to get to know them and see if you have anything in common. You want to figure out whether there would be any reason to meet again. It isn’t a personal thing at this point but more of a scoping out of possibilities. Man of Mystery was someone who had conversed somewhat intelligently via online messages and had posted pictures of himself so I knew he was somewhat attractive.

We were meeting for lunch on a work day, so time was slightly limited and sometimes that was a good thing. Hey… I’m nothing if not honest! Anyway… work day… I had advised my co-workers where I was meeting this new potential and arrived at the restaurant on time. I waited… and waited… and after 15 minutes I called his cell phone to ensure we had understood the correct time and place.

“Oh!” He said, sounding like he was all of a sudden in a kerfuffle. “I didn’t realize the time. I will be there in 20 minutes. I just have to finish something.”

“Sorry, but I can’t wait that long. I have to be back to work in 45 minutes. I only have an hour. Perhaps some other time.” I said, feeling irritated.

“NO! Please don’t go! I don’t want to wait! I just live around the corner. I’ll be there in a couple minutes. Please wait for me. I’m so sorry I lost track of time.”

What I should have done at that point, was to say ‘no’, grab some take out to take back to the office and tell my friends I’d been stood up… but just before I was about to do this, he asked one more time for me to ‘pleeease wait’ until he got there.

“Order an appetizer for us while you wait,” he added. “They’re very fast with their food, I promise you won’t starve!”

I found myself agreeing and ordered garlic bread and a diet coke and was seated by a waitress who had not had a lot of luck dating herself and seemed hell-bent on bashing men for their tardiness.

I saw him pull into the parking lot not more than seconds after being seated. He rushed to the table and ‘nice to meet you’s were exchanged. We both took a deep breath and started to get to know each other.

I asked him what he had been working on, and his response was “I could tell you but I’d have to kill you.”

We chuckled, and I thought ‘fair enough’, work is off the table for now.

“I like the looks of your car. I’m looking for a new one myself. What kind is it? I don’t recognize it and I know my cars.”

“Well I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you,”  and then he laughed at his own joke.

“It must be a new model,” I added while he continued laughing at himself. “I don’t recognize it.”

Yes, you guessed it… “I could tell you but I’d have to kill you.”

Such was the majority of our conversation for the duration of our lunch. He eventually told me that he sells Harley’s but just because he loves them and just part time.

Then came time for my ‘safety call’ and my girlfriend asked how things were going. My response could be nothing other than “Well I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you.” and then I chuckled as Man of Mystery near about fell off his chair laughing at the joke.

She and I spoke in code after that and because I was not in danger, she left me to my date to try to salvage some semblance of an enjoyable meal.

While I had decided that this was not a relationship that warranted a second meeting, Man of Mystery was completely enjoying himself and felt we were a perfect match, because I ‘got his humour’ and could find the fun in our lunch.

“You had a good time. I could tell.” he said as he leaned in for a kiss once he’d walked me to my car.

“Well I could tell you, but I would have to kill you.” I replied as I sidestepped and opened my door, squeezing inside before he could complete his task.

When I got back to the office I was bombarded with questions.

“How did it go?”

“Well I could tell you…” you know the rest. 😉

Life is too short! Find the funny!

Many people have set new year’s resolutions, or made new goals… or decided to change their life for the better in one way to another. Many people have determined that this year will be the year they will meet that ‘perfect someone’ who will be their life’s partner.

While that’s all well and good, how does one do that?

I made this same decision many years ago, and embarked on the road of online dating. Yes… I actually made myself a profile, (using my then fledgling writing skills), took a deep breath, and posted it! From there, I began a journey of hilarity that brought me to where I am today, living in the “happily ever after”.

I thought it might be fun to share some of the escapades I got myself into. I will change the names to protect the guilty… um… innocent, but I will dish just the same. Perhaps it will help anyone out there who’s ‘looking’ to find the humour in their current circumstance, instead of feeling frustrated with dates that go wrong.

First up… “Mr. Relationship”

I met Mr. Relationship at the very beginning of my re-entry into the dating world. In fact, he was my very first. I had just left a very long marriage and wasn’t looking for anything serious at the time. I wanted to figure out who I was and where I was going and if I could find someone to have dinner or a movie with every now and again, all the better.

I was terrified as I drove 45 minutes to meet Mr. Relationship. It was winter and being in the North, snowy and very cold. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was late when I arrived. Mr. Relationship was very understanding and I truly appreciated his patience as he waited.

We were just meeting for coffee after work and had chosen a city 45 minutes away because I wanted no chance of him following me home. I was a writer of Romantic Suspense and could think of all kinds of things that would/could go wrong so I was overly cautious.  Paranoid you think? Maybe… I can acknowledge that but I was a newbie at all of this and had a very good imagination. I also had much to live for.

Because safety was a VERY high priority, I always had a ‘safety’ call come in part way through the date. One of my dearest friends was my safety call that night.

“How’s it going?” she asked when I answered her call.

“Oh Sweets,” I responded, “You have a migraine? Well I JUST got here”

“What’s he look like?”

“Yeah I was late”

“Is he cute?”

“Take some Advil and call me back in 20 minutes to let me know how you’re feeling.”

We hadn’t talked about any codes at this point so I prayed she figured it out and would call back.

Mr. Relationship and I started to talk and right off the bat, he informed me that he was looking for a new wife. He didn’t like being alone and he thought that we would make a great couple. Keep in mind that I had been honest with him in what I was looking for and a relationship wasn’t it. I was very clear in fact… still I think he thought he could change my mind.

He had planned a vacation we could take together. (Had a brochure and everything) He would take me skiing out West. Please note that I don’t ski and I hate the cold but he felt I would learn to love it! He wanted to introduce me to his children. Would I come to dinner on Sunday and meet them?

Hell no!!

My friend called back (thank God!) and while I did not use the call as an out, I did use the interruption as an excuse to move on. I explained to him that he seemed like a very nice man but he was looking for something that I wasn’t ready to give him, or anyone, for that matter.

“What is this you think I look for?” he asked in his Eastern European accent.

“A relationship.”

While most of us want some sort of connection or relationship, we aren’t always ready for this at the same time. We are all on different journeys and cross paths at different points along that journey. It doesn’t mean he’s not good enough, or there’s something wrong with me… it means it isn’t the right time and may not ever be with that person.

Don’t take it personally. Just be glad you’ve eliminated that question, and move on. I believe there is someone out there for everyone and we can all have a ‘happily ever after’ if that’s what we want.

Now that 2014 is coming to an end, I figured it was high time I got off my butt and got my Blog started. I’ve been wanting to do it for quite some time but other tasks always got in the way. Ok if I’m honest, I got in my own way by not making it a priority. That is all about to change! Right here! Right now!

It’s the end yet another year and we are about to embark on a brand new year which means resolutions for many. I no longer make new year’s resolutions. Not because I’ve found everything I ever wanted in life but because I made a resolution years ago to never make another resolution and it’s the only one I ever kept! 😉

Resolutions about finding love and happines… a new job… losing that extra 10… 20… or even 100 lbs puts stress on yourself for January 1st and I no longer believe this is how I want to start my year. Instead, I want to continue to work towards my goals all year. Not just for the month of January (if I make it that long). And I want to do it stress free and without pressure of failure.

So… This year I will shed the old and embrace the fresh start, not with negative thinking about the things I don’t like in my life, but concentrating on the positive things that bring me joy and working towards the personal goals that will bring even greater happiness.

Love yourself enough to embrace this new year with a positive outlook and remember that no matter what you do, or don’t do, you never fail at anything unless you give up.

You are the painter of your masterpiece. Take control and embrace all life has to offer. If not today, then when?

What will your new year to look like?  What are you looking for?