Happy New Year! This year… find the Funny!!

Many people have set new year’s resolutions, or made new goals… or decided to change their life for the better in one way to another. Many people have determined that this year will be the year they will meet that ‘perfect someone’ who will be their life’s partner.

While that’s all well and good, how does one do that?

I made this same decision many years ago, and embarked on the road of online dating. Yes… I actually made myself a profile, (using my then fledgling writing skills), took a deep breath, and posted it! From there, I began a journey of hilarity that brought me to where I am today, living in the “happily ever after”.

I thought it might be fun to share some of the escapades I got myself into. I will change the names to protect the guilty… um… innocent, but I will dish just the same. Perhaps it will help anyone out there who’s ‘looking’ to find the humour in their current circumstance, instead of feeling frustrated with dates that go wrong.

First up… “Mr. Relationship”

I met Mr. Relationship at the very beginning of my re-entry into the dating world. In fact, he was my very first. I had just left a very long marriage and wasn’t looking for anything serious at the time. I wanted to figure out who I was and where I was going and if I could find someone to have dinner or a movie with every now and again, all the better.

I was terrified as I drove 45 minutes to meet Mr. Relationship. It was winter and being in the North, snowy and very cold. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was late when I arrived. Mr. Relationship was very understanding and I truly appreciated his patience as he waited.

We were just meeting for coffee after work and had chosen a city 45 minutes away because I wanted no chance of him following me home. I was a writer of Romantic Suspense and could think of all kinds of things that would/could go wrong so I was overly cautious.  Paranoid you think? Maybe… I can acknowledge that but I was a newbie at all of this and had a very good imagination. I also had much to live for.

Because safety was a VERY high priority, I always had a ‘safety’ call come in part way through the date. One of my dearest friends was my safety call that night.

“How’s it going?” she asked when I answered her call.

“Oh Sweets,” I responded, “You have a migraine? Well I JUST got here”

“What’s he look like?”

“Yeah I was late”

“Is he cute?”

“Take some Advil and call me back in 20 minutes to let me know how you’re feeling.”

We hadn’t talked about any codes at this point so I prayed she figured it out and would call back.

Mr. Relationship and I started to talk and right off the bat, he informed me that he was looking for a new wife. He didn’t like being alone and he thought that we would make a great couple. Keep in mind that I had been honest with him in what I was looking for and a relationship wasn’t it. I was very clear in fact… still I think he thought he could change my mind.

He had planned a vacation we could take together. (Had a brochure and everything) He would take me skiing out West. Please note that I don’t ski and I hate the cold but he felt I would learn to love it! He wanted to introduce me to his children. Would I come to dinner on Sunday and meet them?

Hell no!!

My friend called back (thank God!) and while I did not use the call as an out, I did use the interruption as an excuse to move on. I explained to him that he seemed like a very nice man but he was looking for something that I wasn’t ready to give him, or anyone, for that matter.

“What is this you think I look for?” he asked in his Eastern European accent.

“A relationship.”

While most of us want some sort of connection or relationship, we aren’t always ready for this at the same time. We are all on different journeys and cross paths at different points along that journey. It doesn’t mean he’s not good enough, or there’s something wrong with me… it means it isn’t the right time and may not ever be with that person.

Don’t take it personally. Just be glad you’ve eliminated that question, and move on. I believe there is someone out there for everyone and we can all have a ‘happily ever after’ if that’s what we want.